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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Reckless Reproducer - written 2/2009

Why isn't Nadya Suleman's Physician being held accountable for his part in this reckless reproduction circus? After all, even persons seeking gender reassignment must go through at least one year of extensive therapy and profiling for consideration prior to surgery.

Why would any sane, licensed physician agree to implant anything other than an IUD into this woman; given her mostly self-imposed socio-economic status ( single, unemployed, dependent on aging parents, and emotional history)?

This young woman clearly isn’t thinking rationally or projecting into the future regarding the physical and emotional welfare for her children, her parents or the U.S. taxpayers. She is an attention junkie who has been watching too much television and is living in a dream world.

As a 41 year old, married, mom of three children, I am very thankful that my children have no special needs other than being unpredictable and hyper when given too much sugar. Ok, one has Asthma, as do I, and even though my husband makes a very good salary and has good insurance, the cost of living is extremely expensive, as the healthcare insurance for us has changed in the last year.

Nadya has no idea what she is facing.

I know with just three children(did I just say, "just three"?), I am exhausted. I applaud my friends who have three or four children and seem to carry it off with such finesse and haven't had nervous breakdowns. Not that I am aware of anyway. There are days when I feel like I am just one hour or mere seconds away from one.

It is unfortunate that Nadya’s parents could not somehow cease support for her to continue after the first implantation. With their continued support, she most likely felt enabled to continue with these pregnancies.

I know that my husband and I , as parents, want to make our children happy; but there are limitations as to what we will provide for them for everyone’s best interest. My parents practiced the same philosophy.

Sure, I wanted a pony and later a brand new car and an unlimited budget for clothing and beer in college. I would have considered my parents my banking source forever had they not said, “NO”… “It’s not in the budget….not a good idea, be independent for a few years….nice girls don’t have sex”.

Oddly enough, I was never was told, “No implantations for you!” It was simply, "if you screw up, you’ll lose your car with no air-conditioning, and you'll get a bad reputation. Don't bring shame on us!!!"

I just told my 12 year old son that he is not entitled to an I- phone, even though the little entrepreneur sold last year’s Christmas gifts on eBay to get one. A" single", regular cell phone should be adequate for him when he is old enough.

Pehaps Nadya’s parents should have exercised the same parenting practices. “ Sorry Nadya, another baby (or 13) just isn’t in the budget honey….here, take a look at the classifieds!” “ By the way, you may want to learn how to cut hair”. 14 haircuts in addition to plastic surgery requirements, and the need for MAC make up really adds up."

Nadya’s reckless decision to continue having babies is going to result in neglect to all of the children, as they cannot possibly get the emotional, physical and just basic fundamental family needs that they will need.

It is one thing to deal with babies and toddlers and “hopefully” have somewhat predictable finances for them as it relates to housing, diapers, clothing, food, toys…then the teenage years: more expensive clothing, braces, constant changing tech toys, possibly therapy, meds, attorney’s fees. It goes on.

I realize that everyone is different when it comes to their threshold level for tolerance and the unexpected events children can bring. They bring so much joy, but they also bring many challenges. It varies depending on personalities, income that enables flexibility, etc.

I am educated and when I married I was an IT project manager and thought I had my life mapped out wisely. But just going from that 2nd child to the 3rd made a world of difference and I realized once the kids became a little older that I really had my work cut out for me. You don't have any clue as to what realistically lies around the corner.

I have had the opportunity to stay home with my kids for a few years ( I work part time as a freelance writer) and it was still very stressful on my marriage. (I actually think my marriage took a drastic turn after our third child came and daily life took my husband outside of his parameters of comfort.) His personality is not conducive to a lot of change…yes, those kids grow older and the needs change.

Even with our income, living in the area that we do, there is always something to spend money on, and there's just never enough. We planned with a 401k and mutual funds accounts set up for the kids. Nadya probably doesn’t even know what a 401k is.

I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around anyone who is single, unemployed/NO income, with six young children & seeking pregnancy via lab. / unconventional methods ( It hasn't been confirmed at this point that she has a line of Sugar Daddies waiting to fund her every whim. ), thinks that getting pregnant for a seventh child, is a good idea. It is all baffling to me, especially that her Physician consented to carrying this out?

Six kids? Three with special needs and now eight more all the same age requiring constant feedings, burpings, possible colic nightmares, changing’s….sleep deprivation, no outside life? I cannot possibly imagine. A one way ticket far away comes to mind and that certainly doesn’t help those children.

Once these children get older, they start activities and some may even talk incessantly...they need attention. (I limit my kids to the activities due to the cost and just the logistics and stress imposed on them as well as me. But? They are all talkers and it is a full time job just communicating with them!)

Nadya clearly isn’t thinking about tomorrow or any day after that. When her kids start playing in organized sports or one want s to join the Orchestra, Dance… there is a registration fee. Usually from $85 to $150.00. High School gets exorbitantly higher! Then there are uniforms, driving to events, etc. Then college? Maybe there will be a “Make a Wish for a Sugar Daddy Foundation”, established by then. Children should at least have options.

She is not giving them any options and that is what is so sad. Out of her selfish needs and what I think is an addiction to being pregnant, these children will suffer. Sure she states that she has love to give, but that can't carry out all of the needs for fourteen children.

I don’t know what the answer is at this point, what’s done is foolishly done. But giving her aid sends the wrong message. It has to stop somewhere. It may sound cold, but I think her children should be given up for adoption.

So, what say you, about her Physician?

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